Apparently I suck at blogging...who knew? Oh well, such is life. Bedtime was one of my daughter's hardest tasks with KC, so it was something I knew I wanted to keep simple. Part of the problem was Daughter's belief that KC needed to learn to sleep through anything, which meant she kept the lights on, the TV blaring, and then put him in a headlock so he couldn't move and rocked him for hours while he screamed.

Our routine is a little easier. At 11:30 AM and 7:30 PM, he gets a sippy cup of milk, brushes his teeth, and gets put to bed with his binky. Because of the extreme heat, we're both sleeping in the air conditioned living room, rather than my unventilated and extremely hot bedroom. I turn off the TV, close the curtains, shut off the light, and get on the computer. I also have 27 minutes of instrumental music I play. He rarely makes it past the second song.

Since my DVR is not working, this means I'm missing out on most of my TV watching, but it also means I get some quiet time twice a day. Since the surgery, I've been napping when he naps and most nights I'm in bed by 8:30. All in all, it's working for both of us.

KC - 5 minutes after being put down.

Recuperating Takes Time When You're Old

I had my hysterectomy last week and haven't had much computer/Internet time since then. KC grabs at the computer, so I had been using it when he was asleep. This last week, I've been going to bed when he does, sleeping late, and napping during his nap times, so no blog updates.

While I was in the hospital, KC stayed with a friend who took him to her daughter's house overnight to play with her granddaughters, one who is 4 and the other is 16 months, just like KC.

To no one's surprise, Texas On-Line Boyfriend has turned out to be a dud and my daughter is begging people for money to send her back. She's pretty put-out that I won't use the Kinship Grant money I get for KC on a plane ticket for her. If I thought sending her money would make her or KC's lives better, I'd do it, but she'll just take KC and then take off with some other guy who promises to love her forever, which seems to be for about 2 weeks.

KC at the hotel - fake crying because Grammy said "No".

Captain Destructo

Yesterday was a pretty frustrating day for both KC and me. He hadn't slept well the night before, which meant I didn't either, and he was very defiant and destructive. Although I've worked hard to child-proof the apartment, he worked harder to get into things out of reach and angrily shook and banged furniture whenever he was redirected. Plus, he screeched, hit, stomped his feet, and threw himself on the floor at the least provocation. He was pulling my hair and when I  stopped him and said "No", he grabbed my glasses off my face, snapped them in two, and threw them down. I've been keeping his books in the magazine holder attached to my desk and in less than 10 minutes he had pulled it apart and stomped the bottom off.

Since my cheapo college insurance doesn't cover glasses, I'm wearing my prescription sunglasses until I can get to my eye doctor and hope he takes pity on my and solders the frames back together. Thankfully, today has been better for both of us.

Taking a water break before completing his destruction of my magazine holder.

The Leash

I had an appointment at Health & Welfare to get rent assistance, to go along with my food stamps and grandchild cash assistance. This is the first time in my adult life I have needed help and it's been a humbling experience.  But, I'll get over it.

I'll get over the Leash Looks, too. KC has a cute Lion harness that I use when we're going to be some place where my attention will not be on him 100 percent or, since I don't have a stroller, when we're going to be walking around in non-toddler proof areas. He was wearing his harness at H&W and one of the other mothers there was deeply offended. She commented a couple times to her probably 4 year old daughter how easy it was to teach little ones to sit quietly like she was if they had something to occupy them. Then she gave KC several books, which he immediately threw on the floor and went back to his fun game of walking to the end of the leash, laughing, and running back to me. I put the books on the table next to me, KC pushed them back onto the floor, so I put them back on the bookshelf and moved where he couldn't reach them. This made the Offended Lady decide he needed a coloring book and crayons. I had her take the crayons away, telling her he eats them and he decided to toss the coloring book onto the floor, then get back to his own game of walking off and running back. Thankfully, we were called into the office before Offended Lady could come up with something else to offer him.

As for the leash, I used one with my youngest son and had several doctors tell me they wished more people would use them. The social workers at H&W have all been positive and my oncology doctor told me she used one for all four of her kids. So suck it, Offended Lady.

He's young, he's fast, and he doesn't have asthma - thank God for the Lion Leash.

Trying New Things

My daughter tends to be a bit narcissistic, which isn't uncommon for people with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since dinner was the only real meal she ate, that was the only real meal she fed KC. To keep him from fussing, she supplied him with a sippy cup filled with either milk or juice and fed him from her never-ending supply of junk food until dinner time. 

She also rocked him to sleep, but since his nap time/bedtime was when she was tired of him, there was no consistency. Plus, she didn't believe in turning off the TV, the lights, or being the least bit quiet, so it took a long time to get him to sleep and he woke up frequently.

Eventually we'll have a regular schedule, but for right now, I'm working on feeding KC every 2-3 hours, offering milk or juice only at those times, and boring him to sleep when he's tired. I printed off a daily food guide for toddlers and try to keep his meals as balanced as possible. The sippy cup has ice water and when he starts shaking the water out, it gets put up until he's thirsty again. He sleeps in the living room, so when it's sleeping time, I turn off the TV, close the curtains, and break out the pacifier.  We rock for about 10 minutes and then I put him to bed and quietly play on the computer. Sometimes he'll stand, but every five minutes I lay him back down. So far, he's always fallen asleep after 20 minutes. 

The results are pretty positive. He's a lot less whiny and is sleeping later in the morning. Since he's not getting up at 6 AM, I've eliminated his morning nap and take him to the park to wear himself out before lunch instead, which makes him sleep longer after lunch and gives me a much needed break.

KC - sitting in the big chair, eating watermelon...Like A Boss!

In the Beginning

A long time ago, in a state several hours away, a city girl fell in love with a farmer and they were happily married soon after. The city girl (me) had always wanted a large family, but the Farmer couldn't have kids and wasn't sure if he wanted them. So, we compromised and did emergency foster care for our county. Once a month or so a small child or two stayed with us, usually just for a night or weekend, but never longer than two weeks. After a couple of years of this, we received a sibling group of five young children. The youngest was only three weeks old and the others were 3, 5, 6, and 7. When it became obvious that their birth parents weren't ready to have them back after two weeks, we agreed to transfer to regular foster care so the kids could stay together. When the baby was four months old, their birth parents decided to relinquish their rights and we were allowed to adopt them.


When the baby was five, and obviously no longer a baby, the Farmer quit farming and we moved to a very rural community in a nearby state. Four years later, the Farmer died unexpectedly of a heart attack, leaving me with five children ages 9-16. In the nine years we had been parenting together, we dealt with a lot of issues stemming from early neglect, horrific abuse, and genetic mental disabilities. In the 10 years since their father's death, the children have become adults. Some are doing better than others, but all live on the margin of society due to issues they have no control over.


This summer was suppose to be my reentry into the world outside of extreme parenting, but God loves a good joke as much as the next deity and everything has changed. 2 weeks before I graduated from college with a double major in Computer Networking and Web Design, I found out I had uterine cancer. The week after I graduated, the job I had lined up disappeared. In the 6 weeks since, my doctors have delayed surgery due to other medical issues and it's hard to get a job when you don't know when you can actually start working. Today my youngest daughter flew across the country to live with her One True Love, a man she met on an on-line dating site. She left behind her 16 month old son, KC. Because I only have temporary guardianship of him, she can have him back whenever she wants, so this blog will be a record of our journey.

KC - all tuckered out from a morning helping Grammy destroy clean the living room.